Noumenia and an Anniversary

It’s been a month or two, but I finally lit a candle for the gods yesterday for Noumenia.  I didn’t do the whole ritual, but at least I made an effort. 

August 1^st, Lammas, is my anniversary.  It’s the first ritual I remember performing as a Pagan and I’ve used it as my anniversary for fourteen years now.  My religion is older than my kiddo but I still feel like such a novice.  Most of those years probably had only one or two rituals done and long, long stretches of time where nothing was done.  I need to remember, however, that just because I don’t always do the magical side of my religion doesn’t mean I’m not a Pagan.

To me, Paganism is a religion.  I’ve always held the gods in my heart and head.  I feel that jumping up and down at the wonder of a rainbow or the electric green of spring is an acceptable form of worship.  I see the wonder of the world around me, I pick up trash and use reusable things, I try to walk my talk, and that makes me a Pagan, not just how well versed I am in casting a circle.

In this new month, as the moon grows and changes overhead, I am not going to devote myself to my path or try to get back into it.  I am going to remember that this is my path.  No matter where my feet lead me or how many rituals I miss, I am still a Pagan and the gods surround me.

Chaos in Motion

I had a thought the other day.  One I think has tried to make itself known and gone unnoticed until now.  I was thinking about how everyone needed some form of chaos in their lives in order to grow and change.  Without a challenge, situations and people stagnate and stay the same.  I believe I need to challenge myself in my religion, writing, and everyday life in order to grow into the person I’m supposed to be. 

My life goes from chaos to order and back again.  That’s why I never buy planners.  Within two months, the system no longer works for me and I need to change how I handle the different aspects going on. 

I’ve always thought this was a reason I like Persephone so much.  She changes everything over and over again.  She descends and rises, making do with what she has and leaving it all so that she can start over again.  Every time I fall I learn something new, some new way of looking at the world, some new way of living.

My thought the other day went like this:  Oh.  Eris is the change.  Persephone shows me how to deal with it.  Why the hell didn’t I think of that earlier?  No wonder chaos has been beating me over the head.

You see, I was introduced to the Principia Discordia and Discordianism back when I was a young Pagan.  I used to have a backpack with Kallisti written on one strap and Peace on the other.  I frequently would say “All Hail Eris” and I made myself a Pope.  But as I grew up, I left my wild goddess in search of a serious take on Paganism.

Now, I realize I was wrong. 

I need the spark of Eris in my life – we all do – in order to grow past my boundaries.  She is the spark that drives us to challenge ourselves.  She thrusts us into the wilds and teaches us how to live, to adapt, to become.  She’s been there the whole time I just haven’t seen her.

And so I hail Eris once again, and hope she won’t find me too interesting (or boring!).

Donating to My Future

I recently donated to the Sacred Paths Center although I am not in Minnesota and I am doubtful I will ever make it up to Paganistan.  Why, then, did I donate?  I did it because I believe in putting my money where my mouth is, and because they didn’t plead with me for it.

The site for Sacred Paths says it all, “There are thousands of us here in the Twin Cities metro, and among us all, we can’t give $3000 a month to keep that banner standing open. What does that say—really say—about “Pagan Community”?”  The SPC have made a stand and are challenging the Pagan community to stop talking and start doing.

I could say they should have started smaller, with a lower overhead and less things going on.  $3000 a month does sound like outrageous rent to me, but I’m not from that area.  I could say I don’t have enough to donate.  After all, I am a single mom struggling to get out of debt. I could say that I will never go visit. 

Instead, I donated $10.

The center is a community center, a place that is wholly Pagan and sacred.  It isn’t a meeting room at the UU or a shelter at a park.  It is a visible, tangible place where Pagans can be Pagans and leave the sacred altar flame alight.  It is a place where other religions can see we are dedicated to our faith and here to stay.

I long for such a temple here in Central Iowa.  If I cannot support Pagan community elsewhere, how am I to support it at home?  Who else is going to want to put forth the effort to make a physical place for Pagans when Paganistan cannot keep one going?  What hope is there my Iowan temple if they can’t do it?  Therefore, I put my money in a cause I believe in. 

If ten people like me donate $10 each, that’s a $100.  But more importantly, that’s ten people willing to give of themselves to see our community grow and thrive.  That’s ten people invested in the future of our faith.  

Values in Action: A Library Encounter

June is the 3rd Annual Pagan Values Blogging (and Podcasting) Month.  Check out the Blog or the Facebook event for more information.  To start if off, I'd like to share what happened earlier this week.

I had a good night on Tuesday.  It was the kiddo’s last day of school.  In fact, it was his last day of elementary school.  He will be going to sixth grade next year in the middle school.  To celebrate, we went out to his favorite restaurant for dinner.  Before we went to eat, however, we stopped at the library.  

It could have been a bad night.  At the library, I noticed my ex-husband’s new ex-wife, and my son’s half-sister.  The kiddo hasn’t seen his sister, or his father, for about three years.  His father decided it was less stress on his new family to cut ties with his old and stop seeing his son.

I could have pointed the pair out to my kiddo.  I could have walked over and let loose a torrent of curse words.  I could have walked over and said what I had rehearsed a million times in my head.

But I didn’t.

It was an important day for my kiddo.  One he had been counting down to for the whole month.  Mention of his father often has him in tears or a week’s worth of attitude.  He never talks about his sister, so I didn’t know if he would want to see her or not.  So, I let it go and had a great dinner date with my kiddo.

I treated my child, another child, and my ex-best friend the way I would want to be treated.

That is the core of my belief system and the core of what I teach my son.  I treat people the way I want to be treated.  If I want to be treated with respect, I respect other people.  If I want to move on, I have to let others move on too.  I’m not perfect, and I’m not sure I will survive the kiddo’s tween years, but I try.  That’s all I can ask of myself, my son, and my gods.

My values are central to my religion, but they are values I think everyone should share.  It is important that I give back to the world what I want to receive.  If I want to see beauty and generosity, I need to offer those same things. 

And so when I hold the door open for a stranger with a load of books, when I smile at someone passing in the hall, when I walk away from a fight, I offer them a piece of myself in the hopes that they will do the same.  I show them how I want to be treated.  That’s all I can do. 

Prepare Yourself

 

Some groups are saying that the Mayans are a little late to the game and that the Rapture begins May 21, 2011 at 6pm.  The end of the world is coming, they say, and we have to be prepared.

These groups get made fun of, get called crazy, and yet I think they still put all of us on edge – even if we don’t know it.  Those other groups who will be having Rapture parties and loudly laughing could be doing so as a way of demanding something happens, and when/if it doesn’t, they can put those who believe down even further.

As a Pagan, I don’t think an almighty god will sweep down and cherry pick those who believe in him the fiercest.  I don’t believe that the world will end by the hand of an angry sky god to wipe away all the sinners.  I do believe that the world will end, someday, and that on another day, our way of life will change dramatically.

But because I do not believe in the Rapture, do I have the right to make fun of those who do?  I have laughed at them, and been a little bit frightened, and shook my head, but then I stop and realize that they are merely presenting their case. 

They don’t believe what I believe, in the power of a simple wind, in the sacredness of a living tree.  I would be upset if they laughed at my religion or my choice to use reusable bags at the supermarket.  I have supported Pagan Pride Day and Pagan Coming Out Day as a way of teaching that we are a faith just like any other.  And to reach that level of understanding and acceptance, we need to show others the same thing.

We need to treat others the way we want to be treated.

So on Saturday, I will not be attending the Rapture or a Rapture party.  I will be buying tomatoes, hauling dirt, and finishing my bug out bag so I can be prepared for whatever disaster the mama planet throws at us.

 

Noumenia: The Wheels are Turning

Welcome to another new month, dear readers!

I'm quite happy to say that I honored both Hekate and Noumenia so far this month.  Now I just have to remember the Agathos Daimon after my meeting tonight and I will have hit all three days.  It will be the first in a very long time.

I feel like I might be on the right track finally on getting a hold of all the different aspects of my life.  Or at least the writing ones.  I wrote down all my obligations the other day and set up a schedule for the week on how to get things done.  At a time when I'm seriously considering having to give up something, I decided that I want to submit a piece of writing at least every other week.  It sounds like a lot, but I think I can get it done.

I waiting and waiting for the warmer weather.  I keep thinking it's right around the corner, but it never comes.  My weather gadget says it is 30 degrees at home right now.  It's May!  Where is the weather that causes sunburns?

I started some of my garden, and then it kind of went belly up in the cold night.  But I replanted my cucumber, lettuce, spinach, and sage seeds.  Hopefully it will be the right timing so that they can come up wonderfully.  This weekend I think I will go get my tomatoes and onions and all the rest of what I want to plant.

This month I just want to stick to what I am doing, follow through, and make it work.

Have a great May!

Happy Beltane!  May the summer come sweetly and the earth bear it's fruit with grace.  May the fertility of the cool, dark earth spread to our hearts and minds.

It's Beltane, but it kind of feels like just another day for me.  How do you celebrate the great fertility holidays when you are single and solitary?  Normally, that's not a problem, but I feel out of touch with the natural world around me.  I take that back.  I am out of touch with the holiday progression.  Planting is behind schedule here in Iowa and it still feels like early spring.  Maybe I am just not ready for the fire of Beltane.

At this time of year, Persephone has walked the world and spread her flowers throughout the deep, dark earth.  Now they awaken to the touch of the sun, lifting their heads from the deep roots and stretch up towards the sky.

My spirituality group will be working through the Inner Path of Twelve Wild Swans by Starhawk and Hilary Valentine. One of my friends said that if you need counseling for issues, you might not want to go through with it. Sounds like fun, right? 

I was talking to another friend about different religions and beliefs this week after I said he should check out the UU. I forgot he was set in his beliefs and they didn't match up with the UU. Politically, he would fit, but maybe not religiously. In our conversation, he shared more information with me on what he actually believes. We came to a point in the conversation where I was reminded of something said on a podcast I listen to (and I'm roughly paraphrasing): Belief without questioning is what makes a zealot and questions deepen the faith.

I have questioned my beliefs quite a bit at times. I have looked deep into my roots and tried to figure out what kind of flower I am supposed to bloom into.

The Inner Path will take us deeper, it will take us down to the root questions of who we are and who we want to be. Am I ready to go there? Maybe. I feel like I have already descended those steps before, and I continue to do it over and over again. 

** PS, all these flowers, and more, are found outside my apartment.  Squee! **