I had a thought the other day. One I think has tried to make itself known and gone unnoticed until now. I was thinking about how everyone needed some form of chaos in their lives in order to grow and change. Without a challenge, situations and people stagnate and stay the same. I believe I need to challenge myself in my religion, writing, and everyday life in order to grow into the person I’m supposed to be.
My life goes from chaos to order and back again. That’s why I never buy planners. Within two months, the system no longer works for me and I need to change how I handle the different aspects going on.
I’ve always thought this was a reason I like Persephone so much. She changes everything over and over again. She descends and rises, making do with what she has and leaving it all so that she can start over again. Every time I fall I learn something new, some new way of looking at the world, some new way of living.
My thought the other day went like this: Oh. Eris is the change. Persephone shows me how to deal with it. Why the hell didn’t I think of that earlier? No wonder chaos has been beating me over the head.
You see, I was introduced to the Principia Discordia and Discordianism back when I was a young Pagan. I used to have a backpack with Kallisti written on one strap and Peace on the other. I frequently would say “All Hail Eris” and I made myself a Pope. But as I grew up, I left my wild goddess in search of a serious take on Paganism.
Now, I realize I was wrong.
I need the spark of Eris in my life – we all do – in order to grow past my boundaries. She is the spark that drives us to challenge ourselves. She thrusts us into the wilds and teaches us how to live, to adapt, to become. She’s been there the whole time I just haven’t seen her.
And so I hail Eris once again, and hope she won’t find me too interesting (or boring!).